Bloody hell, it’s been a long time between posts, and for good reason. I’m back in Joondalup Hospital yet again, my tenth admission since June 2024, about 18 months in other words. It’s not one thing, I don’t have a chronic condition, I don’t have cancer or arthritis or dementia. It’s just a series of “unfortunate events” as Lemony Snickett said. In fact, one of the nurses said today that I have “frequent flyer” status.

This latest visit is because on Saturday 27 December, I got up and using my 4w walker, went to the fridge to get milk and cheese out for breakfast and found my legs buckling under me. I fought to stay upright, holding onto the fridge door, but I couldn’t stay up and fairly slowly slid to the floor. Unfortunately my legs and left foot got twisted under me and a big blood stain started spreading across the floor. From where, I knew not. Lucky my floor is ceramic tiles.

My phone was in reach on the walker, deliberately, so after waiting 5 – 10 minutes to compose myself, I called 000 once again. They know me by now. The ambos arrived after about 20 mins and did their usual efficient thing. I mean ecg and blood pressure etc (I don’t have a blood pressure problem! It’s always “perfect”).

This time, instead of waiting on the blow-up cushion/chair, they had a new lifting device. Briefly it was like two wedges that slide underneath and interlock, then two arms with a battery driven motor in each. These clip onto the wedges, then whirrr! and you find yourself being smoothly lifted up so that you can stand. So then it was onto the stretcher and out the back door to the ambulance, then off to the old familiar hospital ambulance entry. Although there were not many there, I had a l-o-o-o-o-ng wait in the corridor, from about 10-30am until 2.30pm. Finally they put me into one of the “prison cell” cubicles, with more waiting! They put stitches into the tear under the outer two toes on my left foot, then dressed it. That took another two hours, plus visits from 3 or 4 different doctors, brief appearances then disappearances.

Finally around 11pm they took me up to a ward and a bed. That was a long time. I have the feeling they’re trying to discourage me. They almost succeed. A few times I wanted to walk out.

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So here we are 14 days later and I have no idea when I’ll get out of here. They don’t want to send me home to an empty house and a possible reoccurrence of the problems.

One good thing is that I have Brightwater as my carers now, succeeding Southern Cross, but the silly thing is that my fall was two days before Brightwater were to start, so I haven’t seen them yet.

I’m not sure if I mentioned that I had a lodger for a few months, who said he was a “caring” guy and how he would help me out. But it turned out he was rarely there and did very little for me, except dirty the place and bring the flies! And take up my fridge space with his dog food. And his mouldy meat.

I finally had to draw the line at Xmas, giving him two weeks’ notice. I expected fireworks but after a few days’ silence, he announced that he’s moved out. Phew!

However last week he sent a series of abusive text messages, with threats, demanding all his rent back. I came to the conclusion that he was drunk and said so. He went quiet and has stayed so. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

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So what next? I know I need a live-in carer and as of today, an opportunity may have arisen. Too early to be sure yet, more anon. Female this time.

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I cannot praise the Netflix series The Diplomat highly enough! There are three series, first 8 eps, second 6 eps, third 8 eps. I’ve watched it four times so far and I’m on my fifth time through. For me, it’s like a Beethoven symphony – every time you listen, you hear something new or understand it a bit better. I must have listened to the Eroica symphony a hundred times already and I expect to listen to it for the rest of my life. So it is with The Diplomat. It’s the best script I have ever heard, by a long shot. Well, maybe The West Wing was comparable. Highly, highly recommended.