How many more times?

Me, about 1989, with a friend’s son who’s now a fully grown man.

And again!! I’ve now had eight Joondalup hospital admissions since June last year. Eight!

This time it was a Saturdaay morning and I lay in bed unable to summon the will or strength to get up, even with no breakfast. Eventually I got up and walked slowly toward the kitchen. I sat at the table in a depressed mood until finally I decided to call the ambulaance I explained that I was just unable to function and they agreed.

So it was off to the familiar corridor wait, at least on a comfortable bed this time. I think it was 2½ hrs until I was wheeled in to a bay for an initial inspection. Then it was off to a nearby cubicle and more waiting. Finally I was seen by a very pleasant Irish doctor who had plenty of time to listen. This was good, because I had plenty to say, including that I couldn’t see a way forward. All I saw was a brick wall, and I meant the S word. He was very good, gave me all the time I needed and we parted friends. I have no idea of his name, though.

Then around midnight it was off to a public shared ward where I spent a restless night.

Next morning it was a “jail-cell” breakfast again and mid morning, they listened to my complaints and moved me to what they thought I would like. It was an isolation room! That is, it was windowless and it had a double air-lock door. I hated it! It felt like a prison cell. Every time anyone came in or out, there was a great whump of air.

On this second day, my complaints got through and I was moved to a normal room in H0 ward. Although I was at the end of the line, at least I got the banter and movement that I like.

So I spent the next two weeks in this room. It had a large window but only overlooked a ground floor garden with seats for staff lunches. I coulld see the sky, but not much else. I had several sessions with a psych, whose only name was Diego, and a couple of good long talks with Russel, the Pastoral care guy. Very nice guy.

One day Diego arrived and I said his name in greeting, whereupon his sidekick introduced himsellf as Dr Mark, then lifted his sweater to show his surname as Sanchez. Diego and Sanchez!

It was up to me to decide when to go home and I resisted their first suggestion, delaying a week, but eventually I had to go so it was Tuesday 18/12/25. I bought a hospital aluminium walking frame this time, $60.

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Huh, since writing the post above, I’ve been to my home-away-from-home, Joondalup Hospital again! This last one is the eighth ambulance ride there since June last year. This is not good.

This time I was coming from the bedroom using my 4w walker when I felt my strength just draining away in the space of about 10m. What I’ve been fearing occurred, I lost control of the walker and it ran away ahead of me, putting all my weight on my arms and shoulders. I fell across the handles then to the right onto the floor, on my knees and elbows.

I lay there stunned for 10 mins or so, assessing what to do. No injury, phone within reach. Eventually I phoned 000 and they said it’s a busy time (5.30pm) and there might be a delay. That’s OK, I’m not going anywhere!

So the first ambos arrived and checked me over while we waited for the whoopee cushion, another half hour. Theye got me up, but it took two guys to hold me up. They said they could tell how weak I was.

So it was off to the hospital again, for a long wait in the corridor, on a bed thank goodness. Into a cubicle, off to radiology for X – rays and a CT scan, then finally to a ward, about midnight by now. Initially into a shared room for the night. Next day, Thursday 25 Sept, they moved me to a room in the private side of the hospital. But it was an isolation room with a double (airlock) door. I felt like a prisoner in a silent cell. I asked to be moved to a normal room and about 4.30pm they moved me to a familiar style of room. Thank goodness. I like to see the passing traffic in the corridor and hear the chatter.

But PAIN! They told me there’s nothing broken, but it feels as if I must have broken ribs. They gave me strong pain relief but it takes at least an hour to take effect. Even now, at home on Wed 8 October, I’m still in considerable (7/10) pain.

So there I stayed for 10 days until Saturday 4 October, with a ride home in an ambulance again. Now read on:

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Holy smoke, yet another two (three!) ambulance rides since my last posting. The last, only a week ago, was my sixth (seventh) time in the last fifteen months. This is not great. Mostly it’s not the same thing, it’s a sequence of similar problems.

This latest one was similar to the last: I found myself on the floor next to my bed at 5.30am. it’s too long a story about why I got there, but the ambo guys got me up with the cuhion and asked me to hold onto the walker. But when I got out into the passage I was so weak and wobbly that I lost mt balance and went down hard, hitting my head on the wall. They got me up enough to get me onto a stretcher this time and it was off to Joondalup Hospital again.

This time they didn’t like the redness of my legs, especially the right, and diagnosed cellulitis, a blood infection. Can be serious if it progresses. Solution, pump me full of antibiotics. Four times a day, intravenously, for seven days! Unfortunately, that level of antibiotic causes diahorrea. A lot. However, eventually my leg went back to its usual colour and the i/v stopped.

When I was in the ED, there was no spare room in the private patients” wing so I was put into a room in the public (Medicare) wing. I expected grey concrete walls and green tiles, but I got a single room virtually identical to the private rooms. The decor of the whole ward was fine, bright and cheerful. The nurses were great too. Unfortunately for the first couple of days the food was basic, no choices, Corn Flakes or Rice Bubbles, skim milk, only one slice of toast, no topping except margarine, and so on. Apart from that, I have no complaints.

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Well, since writing the above, I’ve had another ten day stay in the hospital. That’s the seventh time I’ve been hospitalised in the past 15 months. This is getting to be a habit! It’s not always the same thing; each time seems to be a distinct event.

This time I was feeling very weak and tired on Wednesday 24th Sept. I spent the afternoon on the bed, then got up at 5pm. I used the 4w walker to go out towards the kitchen dining area, but I felt my strength just draining away as I walked. Eventually the walker got away from me and I fell forward, raking the right side of my body across the handle bars as I fell.

I lay there for 10 mins or more gathering my wits, then grabbed my phone (on the walker seat) and called 000 for the ambulance. I was there for about 30 mins before they arrived and got me up using the whoopee cushion. The guys said they could tell how weak I was as I couldn’t stand properly. So it was off to the hospital (Joondalup) again. I can’t remember what happened, but I was put into a cubicle and spent several hours waiting to be seen, with lots of questioning and being wheeled away for X-rays and CT scans. This is all going on at 2am or 3am. They don’t go home.

So finally in the morning I was put into a shared room in the public section again. I hated the room. It was a large cubicle and I felt as if I was in a solitary confinement cell. I complained and they found me another room. But this was also unsatisfactory because it was an isolation room with a double door/airlock. Again, I felt imprisoned.

Again I whinged and this time they moved me to a normal room. It was a bit noisy, being on the main corridor, but I said I didn’t mind. So there I stayed from Thursday 26 Sept to today, Saturday 4 October. Wow. It’s lucky I’m not being billed for all this!

Unfortunately this time they put me on the low GI diet – nice enough food, but nothing like the a-la-carte menu I had for the last couple of visits. No fruit juices; no profiteroles; no ice cream; no pan fried salmon etc.

But the hard part about this visit was (and still is) the pain! I seem to have damaged the right side of my chest and abdomen. I had a massive bruise, from my shoulder right down the my hip, black! It’s nearly dissipated now, but it feels as if I’ve got broken ribs. They tell me I haven’t, but the pain is incredible, 8/10 at times. I’m on strong pain medication, opioids, which don’t fully work. The best I can get to is about 3/10. It’s hurting now, and I know that lying down and resting will help, but that has drawbacks.

Anyway, that’s hospital visit number 7 since late June last year when I had the pacemaker fitted. I’ve been collecting all the Discharge Summaries to satisfy my obsession to document everything and I’ll show them here soon, main points that is.

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The other news is that I have a lodger, a boarder. It’s a young guy, 31 years old, who has a dog, a Kelpie/Jack Russel cross. An ad popped up a few weeks ago on the web looking for accommodation for a young (31) guy over from Canberra so in a quick decision I said Yes, I love dogs.

Still here

That’s Mum, my late sister Maxine* and her daughter Tamsin, 1976 *see below

It’s been a long break since I last posted on 1 January, but here I am again. It’s been a bit traumatic, with two ambulance rides to hospital and one extended stay, four and a half weeks. I’m home again (back on Wed 5 March, I think) and I’m getting terrific home assistance in a TCP (Transitional Care Package) from a company called Brightwater.

But let’s go back to the beginning. I’m having trouble remembering the sequence, but I had a C/T scan in the middle of January in Clarkson. It showed major deterioration of the spine, just age-based, not the result of any injury, but especially the L3 vertebra on the right side has a fracture.

A week or so after that, the pain became so severe that I had to call an ambulance. I was crying with pain in the ambulance.

But the warnings of the ambo guys were true. They had warned me against going to Joondalup Hospital. They said, “You’ll go to the end of the queue and you could be there for seven hours or more.” Well, that’s what happened, except worse. We arrived at 2pm. The queue was v-e-r-y l-o-n-g, so after a few minutes, they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me into the triage area. And there I stayed for the next 13 hours! They did give me a pain relief tablet at about 8pm I think, and that helped, but everyone was called ahead of me. It became clear that pain is not considered an emergency. Anyone with a sore toe was called ahead of me.

At around midnight I couldn’t stand it any more and I wheeled myself toward the doors. I figured I’d had all I could take and would get a taxi home. But a nurse came and said, “What are you doing? Where are you going?” I told her I couldn’t take it any more and she turned me around and said it wouldn’t be much longer. She gave me a bottle of water from the vending machine and a round of sandwiches.

Well, I sat there for another three hours before they called for me. It was 3am before I was finally seen by the doctors. They gave me strong pain tablets and I lay on that uncomfortable bed for another 9 hours until they discharged me at midday!! What an ordeal. I do not want to go to Joondalup Hospital again.

When I finally was wheeled out to the discharge area, still in the wheelchair. the first taxi refused to take me! He didn’t want to take the wheelchair. But I wasn’t going to take it home, it belonged to the hospital. He didn’t stop to ask. I had to phone for another cab, and it turned out to be an Uber.

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The next emergency was on Monday 10 February. This sounds crazy, but at some point over that weekend, I found myself seated in my toilet. But unfortunately, I couldn’t get up. I just couldn’t lift myself. I was drifting in and out of consciousness or sleep, unaware of what time it was or even what day. I think I went into the toilet on Friday evening some time. My theory is that I went to bed on Friday night, then got up for a wee during the night, sleepwalking, unaware of what I was doing, and was unable to get up to return to bed. It’s never happened before or since.

So I was there for 2½ days. No food or drink, so I was very dehydrated. In fact by the time I got to the hospital, I was experiencing rhabdomyolysis, the breakdown of muscle in the absence of food. Not that I would have known – I was unconscious. I have no memory of it, anyway. I remember being pulled out of the toilet by the ambo guys on the Monday morning, but nothing more until waking up on the table in the ED.

How was I rescued? Luckily I had a tradesman on an appointment due on the morning of Monday 10 Feb. He was due in at 9am to install new handrails in the shower and toilet (!) and long handrails in the small passageway. I knew he was coming and that I needed to unlock the front door, but I also knew I couldn’t do it.

At 9am I heard him knock and I had to yell out, “I can’t come to the door!” Luckily, he was a clever guy. He went through the side gate, then for some reason I’d left a sliding door to my patio open. Caramba! How’s that for luck? So he was able to get into the house. I remember being asked how long I’d been there. Three days, I said. Interesting that I knew this.

Next thing I knew was his attempt to pull me off the toilet seat, unsuccessfully. I’m very heavy. Then some time later, I felt myself being pulled off onto a small metal chair. After that, I remember nothing until waking on a trolley in the hospital ED, being asked questions, having a catheter inserted. Ugh.

Next thing I knew I was in a ward bed. I had a bad graze on my right knee, of unknown cause, and a bad pressure sore on my left buttock. This took a lot of dressings and at least three weeks to get close to healing.

So from then it was about four days in this acute bed on the fourth floor. I have to say, I was not too happy with the nursing, by which I mean that although I tried not to call a nurse too often, when I did need a nurse, they were very slow coming, taking up to half an hour. Then I noticed that once I made my request, they didn’t come back. They were just too short staffed! I don’t blame the nurses, they were just too busy. Here’s an example:

That blood is because my cannula got dislodged during the night. I called the nurse, but it took more than half an hour before she came. On another occasion, while I was wearing a “nappy”, I had an incontinence accident during the night (I couldn’t get out of bed to go to the toilet.) It took more than an hour before the nurse came to clean me up. That was unpleasant.

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Then they moved me down to the Rehabilitation Ward on the ground floor. I had a private room and as I said once or twice “hot and cold running nurses”. It was incredible. I started joking about it, that every shift resulted in a fresh nurse. There were so many! I like to try to remember names, but I gave up after a while as, each day, each shift produced a new nurse. Not quite, there were a couple of regulars, but only a couple.

Nice!

I had a motorised bed, of course, so I was able to lower it to swing my legs out and put my feet on the floor, then raise it to make it easier to stand up. I had a walker to move around and I had to be very careful.

I must say how much I liked the food. It was a diabetic balanced diet and wow, it sure got the bowels working regularly. Lots of beans and high fibre vegetables. And look at this:

Beer, free of charge! Unfortunately it only continued for five nights before some doctor heard about it and put a stop to it. The substitute was Pepsi Max, i.e. artificially sweetened Pepsi. Ugh. I quite like Coke Zero, or even Diet Coke, but I hate this stuff!
Breakfast – cereal, scrambled eggs on toast, coffee, yoghurt.

I also realised that there’s a special “upper class” menu for private patients, which includes steak, pork cutlet, pan fried reef fish and best of all, pan fried salmon. That was my favourite. It was even supplied with Hollandaise sauce on one occasion.

But unfortunately the diabetes police were too smart for me and the Hollandaise sauce was taken off the menu, and most of the other fancy menu items were crossed out. Grrr. But I must say, I enjoyed the food for the whole stay.

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Obviously the more time you spend on a bed in a hospital, the worse your physical condition becomes. In fact they tell you you’ve become “deconditioned”. I can tell you, it’s a bugger! The result is that I’ve lost a lot of my muscle strength, especially my thigh muscles, my quadriceps. That makes it very difficult to get up from chairs and it badly affects my balance. The result is, I effectively can’t walk. I have to use a 4-wheel walker. That’s a big help, but I always have a feeling that I might fall.

The result is that I’ve developed a phobia about leaving the house. Apart from a few visits to the doctor at the medical centre, I haven’t been “out” since July last year. My brother comes here on Mondays and so I schedule my doctor appointments for Monday mornings. We take the Honda and Ian loads my walker into the back, then unloads it and helps me wheel my way into the waiting room. This works well, but I sure wish I could be independent.

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Once I got home on Wednesday 12 March courtesy of brother Ian, I found that I’ve been assigned a TCP, Temporary Care Package from the Brightwater Group. They’ve taken over from Amana Living, unfortunately, as I quite liked Amana. But it seems that any break of seven days or more negates your contract.

So it’s a whirlwind of visitors from Brightwater, at least one carer each day and usually more; physiotherapist, occupational therapist, cleaner (only once per fortnight unfortunately), social worker, and so on. I like it. Having lived alone for so long, I’m finding I’ve become a chatterbox. I can’t stop talking! I hope I haven’t become excessively talkative and I try to let the other person talk, but I confess I’m becoming garrulous, as I used to find with Dad as he got older. He could talk non-stop for ten minutes or more, but I didn’t mind, he was my father, after all.

By the way, I’m 78 now, the same age as he was when he died and the same age as he was when I used to sit and let him talk. How about that?

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I must add, somehow my name was picked up by a group called People Who Care and a series of visits commenced by a volunteer who comes and visits every Friday. It’s completely voluntary, but it’s by a lady called Nat (Natalie) and we have become quite close friends. I am extremely grateful for her visits, especially when she was coming to the hospital, and I can “talk the leg off the table” with her, so to speak. She brings me a little gift of mint chocolate and I’ve discovered sugar free cake to go with our coffee. Nice!

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* So here’s where I explain the asterisk about my sister Maxine. She had had cancer since early 2001, non-Hodkins lymphoma. She fought it for all these years but it finally claimed her life on 1 February this year. She was 73; she would have been 74 on 26 March.

Unfortunately, I held a huge grudge against her ever since she wrote her awful letter to the doctors at Perth Clinic on 3 September 2013. In the letter, she made utterly false accusations against me, mainly that I had made threats against her children! Can you imagine the shock I felt when accused of that? That’s about the worst accusation that can be made against a man, because the woman is always believed, whereas the man’s denials are not.

Therefore, for years I was not sure I would be able to attend her funeral.

Well, in the end, the decision was made for me: I was in the Joondalup Hospital with a fractured vertebra, unable to walk. I decided to write a short eulogy to be read out at the funeral, apologising for my absence and my brother said it went well.

That leaves the question, why did she do it? Why did she write such a damaging letter? The only answer I can think of is severe misandry, hatred of men due to the things that have happened to her during her life. But to attack her own brother in this way?

So there you go. This has been a rather traumatic period, from June last year 2024 to now April 2025. I won’t say I’m badly affected (well, I really am!) but it ain’t fun. I don’t think it will end. Pacemaker, CCF (congestive cardiac failure), fractured vertebrae, chronic pain, loss of mobility. Ugh!

I’m still here

Self portrait, c2018?

It”s been a long time since I last posted, sorry. I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather and I’ve had another spell in hospital. I’ve been feeling short of breath and generally weak and fatigued. Last Monday 18th it was bad enough that I had to call the ambulance again, around midday.

This time, not being a cardiac case, I had to join the queue in the entry. I had to wait three hours on the stretcher and having only had a banana for brekky, it was a bit uncomfortable. About 7pm (?) they took me for a chest X-ray and the diagnosis was CCF, Congestive Cardiac Failure. It’s the buildup of fluid in the lungs, hence the shortness of breath, and around the heart, hence the weakness since the heart can’t pump as well. No cure, only diuretic medication to make me piss the fluid out. It’s Frusemide, pretty common I think. I’ve been on it before, about ten years ago, but I had to stop due to too much dizziness and another effect. I’ll just have to try it and see this time. OK so far.

I was in the hospital for five days and I confess I found it comfortable enough that I didn’t want to leave. I enjoyed interacting with the nurses and doctors and having three meals a day served up, with a free glass of wine if you ask nicely. The only drawback is carrots! Bloody hell, I reckon they’ve got a pipeline to a carrot farm. Everything comes with carrots. There are no potatoes or onions, just carrots. They must think I’m Bugs Bunny.

I had a good chat about another thing that’s been bothering me, and had an ulcer on my right heel looked at and dressed. Then I got a taxi home on Friday. Actually, I was going to use an Uber, and was quoted $30.70 on the phone when I rang to book, sitting in a wheelchair at the main exit, but the woman was in the Philipines or somewhere and when I looked up, I saw taxis waiting at a rank only 15m away, so I cancelled the Uber. But the taxi ride cost me $45! Crumbs, it’ll be Uber next time.

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I’m feeling very weak and wobbly these days. My legs have lost all their strength, so much that I have trouble standing at the kitchen bench and in the shower. I can do it, but my knees sometimes buckle. I haven’t fallen, thank goodness, but only because I’m very careful.

It’s making me have second thoughts about the possibility of needing to go into a nursisng home. I don’t know much about it but I’ll know more next Tuesday when a lady from Amana Living is coming to talk to me about “respite care”. My impression, and I might have a completely wrong idea, is that I might be going to stay in an Amana Living village for a month to see how I like it. That would be nice, I think, but who pays for it? I’ll know more next Tuesday.