I’m still here

Sorry for the long silence. I’m at home in Perth again but I haven’t had much heart to write for a while.

I had to come back early on the 16th May as the depression in Bali was some of the worst I’ve had. Having Ian and Naomi there helped a lot – just having someone to talk to.

But it’s made me realise I can’t do this. Despite being on the market for 3 months, my house didn’t sell; my depression is a recurring problem and I felt completely isolated in Bali; and I’ve had another couple of instances of atrial fibrillation, which in theory is not daagerous but is unpleasant and can lead to clots and strokes.

It all seemed so simple when I started this process, but I completely underestimated how hard it is to “leave home”. Sitting staring at a blank wall in Bali, I thought, “Where am I most comfortable?” and the answer is, sitting at my table reading or watching TV, here.

Additionally,  I couldn’t get anyone to take Minnie, and I can’t leave her!

As my house was being stripped more and more, my anxiety levels were ratcheting up at a fast pace. I thought going to Bali for a month would fix me up, but just the opposite – it got worse.

So all in all, I’ve made a giant stuffup. I stand to lose my deposit, but that’s not the end of the world. However, my brother and his wife see the villa as the answer to their dreams, so they want to take it over. If they can do it, it would be the ideal solution. But finance is the problem of course, and it may not work out.

So I’ve crashed and burned. But on the bright side, I’ve made a great new friend in Barry Wood. He has helped me above and beyond the call, for certain. Likewise, Keith Geary. He has helped me so much, so often in the past few years that I am eternally grateful. I just hope I can repay them somehow.

Also thanks to those who’ve expressed their concerns about me – it’s made me realise I’ve got some wonderful friends.

Things are still pretty tough on the Black Dog front, but time is the great healer. We should know more about the future next week, I hope.

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