Well, here I am at my last night in this house. This is tough, much tougher than I thought. I feel very nervous, nauseous actually, at times.

Why? I think it’s pretty clear – this house and this room in particular are my protective shell, and I’m about to lose it. I’m stepping out into the open with no comfort zone for the next six weeks. I shouldn’t feel this way – I have somewhere to go, but I’ll have to be sort of invisible, not wanting to intrude on my friends’ lives. I won’t know the ropes. I’m the type who needs to do everything exactly right, not make mistakes, not offend.

I think this stems from early maternal teaching. Whenever I got the (rare) chance to visit school friends, I was always told “Don’t outstay your welcome, will you?” Repeatedly! The result was that I always felt the need to leave, lest I “wear out my welcome”. This stayed with me into adult life. It’s not so bad now, but it very badly affected my early, adolescent life.

Silly of me, but I’m having trouble relaxing.

The fridge was powered off today so I’m relying on a foam Esky with my ice cube trays to keep things cool. Not that there is much – I’ve been reducing the fridge contents steadily for the past week. I’m afraid I had to throw out a whole lot of freezer foods this morning – seafood marinara mix, crumbed fish, squid, all kinds of vegetables. It was a terrible waste.

One thing I couldn’t throw out was 2Kg of fresh (frozen) salmon, skin on. This is solid, like an ice brick, so it’s in the Esky. I hope to use it soon at my friends’ place.

Oooh, I must take a photo of all the boxes [done 6.30pm]. The lounge room is stacked! I had to get even more boxes this morning – I keep thinking I’ve got enough, but no, I still need more. Thanks Bunnings – this is one thing you’re good for. About the only thing …

Two loads of washing today, then I pulled the hoses off and that’s it – ready to go. Unfortunately, I can hear a steady dripping noise. The cold tap is not sealing properly. Ordinarily, I’d just go to the workshop, get my tube spanner and fix the washer. But I can’t. It’s all packed away. It’ll have to drip all night, I’m afraid. Maybe I’ll be able to find the right box tomorrow.

I looked up organisations that will take white goods yesterday, and found the Vinnies and People Who Care will collect. But it’s too late to make that decision now – I’ll donate them later this year.

By the way, if I buy new appliances, I’ll be using my CHOICE subscription at last. Those Kiwis seem to produce the winners quite a lot – F&P.

I also found those organisations want all kinds of goods, including what they call bric-a-brac. Boy, have I got bric-a-brac! I’ll be having a big cull at Butler. I’ll have to. Anyway, there’s a Salvo’s shop in the shop complex at Butler – ideal. I’ll be a big donor.

Well, I’m sitting at my table right now with a beer, but tomorrow I won’t have a table or any chairs to sit on. Can’t go to the club either – it’s a special surfing film night for families. We’ve all boycotted it.

Sic transit taurus mundi.